Once upon a time, I had a mom. A wonderful mom who took care of my brother and I at all costs. We never had to worry about going hungry or to school naked. Then one day we found out she had a brain tumor and turned our world upside down. After 22 months of chemo, radiation, losing function of her right side, speaking but not making sense, and overall heartache, she left us for good. That was 7 years ago and every time Mother’s Day rolls around again, I find myself getting depressed. How am I supposed to celebrate a day that honors someone I can no longer enjoy it with? I got my answer 2 years ago.
I became a mother myself and though it has turned my world upside down again, I’m beginning to realize just how much it’s all worth it. The sleepless nights and troubles with breastfeeding to physical therapy when he couldn’t crawl (and then needing help with walking), I never imagined how much responsibility it is to take care of a such a small person!
You have to decipher which scream they are emitting and then when their answer to everything is a head shake and “No!”
But, when you finally figure out what they wanted and give you the biggest smile ever, you feel like you’ve won a marathon. It’s all worth it.
No more staying out late, Ethan is in bed by 7:30.
The fights to get them to eat their fruits and vegetables, or really anything besides bread and Goldfish.
Then, right before you lay him down in his crib, he says “I love you” and blows you a kiss “mmm-aaahh.” Your heart melts and you squeeze him even tighter. Which he tries to wiggle out of. It’s all worth it.
When he grabs a book and wants to sit in your lap so he can “read”.
When you tickle him and he laughs so much he gets the hiccups.
When you capture his pure enjoyment in ripping his food apart. You know.
So I can continue to mourn the Mother’s Days gone by that I haven’t been able to enjoy my own mother. Or I can recognize that I have been given a whole new way to experience the day and know that it’s all worth it.