Have you seen those moving walkways that are at the airport? It’s like this really long conveyor belt for people to get to their gates a littler faster. There are railings on either side, so there’s no option of getting off until the end.
Now, let’s imagine we are on one and reach a fork in the “road.” Only, there’s an infinite amount of forks. And you feel like you need to take all of the forks to reach your destination. You might stand there for a very long time trying to determine which one to take first, right?
This is how I currently feel about my life.
I want to travel all the conveyor belts. All at once. In turn, I travel none of them.
There is this mental paralysis I feel because I want to excel at everything. I attempt to learn all the things. Which creates this burning smell that emits from my ears. I’m spinning my wheels. This is not conducive to finding your balance.
This is followed by feeling as if I can’t accomplish anything. Here are a few things I would like to work on.
- Write for my blog – which requires brainstorming, research, actual writing, finding photos, editing photos, SEO, scheduling posts on social media (but not so many times that I convince people to never read it because I’ve annoyed them). I’ve been trying to finish this ONE post for weeks!
- Network with bloggers in my niche – i.e., stalking my favorite bloggers in hopes that one day they will acknowledge me as more than a groupie
- Learn yoga – I bought a yoga mat (again) in an attempt to learn some basic yoga moves. Nothing too crazy, I just want to get stronger in body AND in mind. Oh and lose 50 lb.
- Freelance writing – recently, I have started working for a client that needs me to write articles 5x a week. I’d liked to increase the number of places to write for and my pay rate per piece.
- Spend time with my family – I work a day job that is a 40 min drive from home. Which means I get home from work about 5:40 and Ethan goes to sleep at 7(ish). Do you see where I’m going here?
- SLEEP – sweet baby Jesus, I want some sleep!
Can you see my dilemma? How am I going to accomplish all of these things, all of the time?
I feel so disjointed that I was reading a blog post on another site, which made me think of something else I wanted to look up. So I put my fingers on the keys and stopped. What was I going to look for again? I just sat there. For the life of me, I could not remember what I was just going to type. There is so much information rattling around in my brain that it’s hard to grasp any one thing for too long.
Okay, let’s figure out how I can accomplish all of this.
I am going to start taking note of how I am spending my time in the mornings and evenings to see
if how many time sucks I have.
As I sit here watching Mythbusters.
I think we should all begin holding ourselves accountable for how we spend our present to improve the way we spend our future.
What are additional ways you think would help in finding your balance?
Hil C says
I want to try yoga (again) too. I think my mat has fused itself into a cinnamon bun. Mmm… Cinnamon buns!
LOL Cinnamon buns sound like a great idea!
Perhaps a little meditation. Take a few minutes in the chaos to be at peace. Then approach the chaos with a centered mind. Also, do you journal throughout the day as thoughts come up? “Siri remind me to look up meditation techniques later”. 😉
Journaling and meditating sound good. Gonna have to figure out where they fit in my schedule ?
Cara Achterberg says
You summed up motherhood so beautifully. 20 years in, sadly, I still feel much of what you wrote. Here’s what I know – do the best you can right now with what you’ve got. don’t beat yourself up about the rest. Beautiful, clean writing, btw. Keep it up.
Thank you so much Cara! And you definitely don’t look old enough to have a 20 year old!
Mommy Muddling says
Wow, that’s a big list, on top of being a mom and working full-time! I think I might start with widdling it down some?
I can relate though, my list is long. When I was in outpatient treatment a couple months ago, for depression, we made a list of all the things we thought we should be good at…my list was big, too big…I had/have such high expectations of myself that I can cripple and paralyze myself at times. That’s not a good feeling.
I hope you appreciate all the awesome things you’re already doing and make sure to take some time for you…to rest, relax and restore!
I guess I never thought I was trying to do too much. I feel like I spend a lot of time drooling on the couch watching TV instead of being productive. I appreciate your perspective!